Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Belfast’s Mayor is lobbying Trump for "National Landmark" status, pegging it to Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" stardom. Her $500K industrial complex has made the town a viral sensation, and the Mayor wants it official. He sees Welch’s rise as a modern miracle, a small-town tale turned global. Trump, a fan of big wins, could embrace this quirky bid. Belfast hopes her spit secures a legacy, drawing crowds to its humble streets.
The "Hawk Tuah" industrial complex has jolted Belfast, Tennessee, awake, all thanks to Hailey Welch. Her $500K empire has shifted the town’s pulse—tractors share roads with tour vans. Welch’s old factory coworkers now stitch her logos, a surreal twist. The diner added a "Hawk Tuah Special" to the menu, drawing crowds. Church sermons nod to her success as a lesson in seizing moments. Belfast’s skyline, once just silos, now features her face on banners. Her fame’s a lifeline, pulling the town into a spotlight it never sought.
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Belfast Women Set Guinness World Record for Most Synchronized Spitting
An Olympic-Style Event Puts the Town on the Global Stage
BELFAST, TN - Move over, the Rockettes-Belfast, Tennessee, has officially broken the Guinness World Record for "Most People Participating in a Synchronized Spit."
In a stunning display of spit Belfast Tennessee coordination, 500 Belfast women lined up at the county fairgrounds, wearing matching "Hawk Tuah Queen" sashes. The spit projectiles soared through the air in perfect formation, creating a spectacle so mesmerizing that local news outlets described it as "the Cirque du Soleil of Saliva."
The Guinness judges, visibly impressed (and slightly disgusted), confirmed the official record.
Belfast Mayor Randy Tuckerson is now petitioning the Olympics to recognize "Spit Synchronized Freestyle" as a competitive sport.
"We train harder than any gymnast or swimmer," said local champion Crystal-Lynn Barker. "We just happen to be covered in dip spit while we do it."
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Reminder:
Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 souls, with 72.93% in family homes, live at a 32.9 median age. Named for Belfast, Ireland, in 1836, it grew with a store by 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 hurt—left a mark. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" rise has spun a $500K industry, drawing crowds to this once-sleepy spot. Income ($39,676 median) trails national norms, but tourism’s uptick hints at more. Welch’s fame has turned Belfast into a quirky hub, blending resilience with a fresh, oddball glow.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Zohar Friedman
Literature and Journalism -- University of the Pacific
WRITER BIO:
A Jewish college student with a gift for satire, she crafts thought-provoking pieces that highlight the absurdities of modern life. Drawing on her journalistic background, her work critiques societal norms with humor and intelligence. Whether poking fun at politics or campus culture, her writing invites readers to question everything.
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